what i said this morning about not being so sad

carried over into this afternoon

i laughed over a Bavarian pretzel
(with hot mustard & bonus cheese)

too embarrassed to open the pizza-sized box which
i overcame by opening the pizza-sized box
and saying, “don’t look!”

between the three of us watching Mr. Rogers,
i ate the most

glad for the warm cardboard
on top of my July air-conditioned skin

surprised that beside me
Dad was audibly breathing;
surprised that the part about
the gorilla got to me the most

what kind of love?
crossed arms

(this was supposed to be about kids)
wasn’t it?

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Yes,

I do love you
standing next to this barn

reaching for Green
ivy. Yes,

magic is rabbits;)
Magic is red wrapping corners snugly

nails on fingertips—-
we belong, Charlie Brown

see?
brown sticks are brown before

bursting green
on the wire

(door’s open)
of course, of course come in

((i’ve no eloquence—-))
just broken-waited

When I was young

Barbie & Ken got it on.
They had lots of unprotected
sex.

Barbie insisted– naked she came,
and fused (or melted) they would be.

Ken insisted on casting a sideways
glance at his origins,
and liked to talk philosophy.

Why are we different, Barbie?

Shut up Ken, we’re the same.

Barbie liked to place her plastic white
ass on Ken’s sculpted pink face in an attempt
to cover her disability of not having
legs which opened in a natural way.

It’s what Ken wanted.
Appendages taken out of context–
broken like ballerina ankles or hidden hearts asking for so little.

The only dialogue that mattered was—
I’ll take care of you, Ken.
and Save me, Barbie.

It was completely redundant to say,
I can help you or I can fix you.
The I and you always got played
the same way.

The scene would end—- immaturely
with Ken’s head being popped off.
And Barbie would strap her heels on like a real
fucked up grown-up.

*author’s note
I’m sifting through my old shit in an attempt to start a new narrative. Thanks for wading through so much stuff like this over the past year. I know you have the choice to read or not to read. ✌🏻

Commission of omitted words

I have needs withheld.
I have stories to tell.
I have to take it
too far.

The unprotested does protest.
The unsaid is second-guessed.
Everybody knows if I cannot
win your love.

If I cannot own your love.
The wife …
The daughter …
The mother …

I’m the blonde sun.
Do you feel it?
If everything’s green
It’s golden. Eat with me.

What if I am here?
What if I have merely thought of myself?
What will I not reframe
with a winsome smile & serial visits?

Why do you feel this way about me?

Insert Ellipsis …
Dot me Ellipsis …

[for d’Verse]